I draw you in with suggestions of Picasso, but I’m afraid it’s me, again.

I’ve always known that art can move, but reduce one to tears? Someone once told me that they couldn’t stand in front of a Rothko without crying – ‘Get a grip’ is how I responded, in my head.

Then I stood in front of Van Gogh’s ‘A Wheatfield, with Cypresses’ in the National Gallery. Why can’t I see it clearly anymore? Why do I have tears running down my cheeks? Why hadn’t I put any tissues in my bag? Why is the guard coming towards me with a strange expression on his face?

Was it because I had recently watched ‘Loving Vincent’ and a documentary about this tortured and anguished soul? That he had died without knowing of the fame and recognition which was to come? Or was it something else – the way he applied paint perhaps? Does it actually matter?

For me, I can’t separate the artist from his work – his mental and emotional fragility is embedded in his work and I find it both beautiful and overwhelmingly sad. So sad, that just someone talking about it can make me well up.

So, after spending one and a half hours in a virtual queue on the National Gallery website I have managed to secure two very precious tickets to ‘Poets and Lovers’, except that for one time only, on the morning of 9th December, there will be a lone Picasso amongst all the Van Goghs.