I had my tutorial with Jonathan on Wednesday. As always, I didn’t take notes as such, I just jotted down the odd word in the hope that it will jog my memory. I’m sure that as the next week or two pass by I’ll remember some additional points, but that’s ok, after all, that’s the nature of processing memory. I was going to say that I would amend this post, but perhaps I won’t – I’ll do a separate one – as it will be interesting to see what comes easily to mind, and what is lurking deep inside the recesses of my memory waiting to be recalled, and what acts as the cue for the recollection. My own memory experiment. Post-tutorial reflections appear in brackets.

We talked about the linocut print for the Editions sale. I explained that I decided to make a physical print and decided on a reductive linocut, something I hadn’t done before. I like making things difficult for myself and perhaps on reflection the process would have been a lot easier if I’d watched some videos as to how to do it, although I think you tend to learn more whilst on the job. Is this something I will carry on with? Not in the foreseeable! I have put it all away and will probably only revisit it if I can find a way of using linocut which suits me – I don’t think that what I perceive to be traditional linocut works for me. Also, I find the natural pauses to be frustrating, but as I was saying this I recognised that it was contradictory, as I have previously said that a period of reflection is important, and that I feel frustrated that I hadn’t left myself enough time for that with my research paper. But then my paradoxical nature is something we have discussed before, as Jonathan pointed out. [In the past, I think that I have considered being paradoxical to be undesirable or weak, to be inconsistent and something that indicates a lack of a sense of identity. But reflecting on this in light of my research paper, I now think that actually that’s ok, that what I think about something today will not be the same as tomorrow because I am constantly changing, and even so, who doesn’t want to be able to change their mind? Why is consistency a good thing anyway?].

To avoid the same thing happening again, I had already made my video and was in the process of curating my blog which I find a valuable exercise as it allows me to pick up on any loose ends. Jonathan commented that I had a lot of links on my page and it might be an idea to rank them. I explained that it was just a holding exercise, that I had gone through my blog and put links to posts which I thought were relevant to each of the learning outcomes and that I will go back through them and edit, adding text.

We talked about the research paper in broad terms ie its subject matter and its relevance to my practice. I explained that it is directly relevant in that I am discovering who I am as an artist. Whilst I had already realised in my Study Statement that I am in a perpetual state of flux, I wondered how an artist can represent the changing self when the processes being used such as memory, mapping and materials are constantly changing too. It revealed that the process of making will best allow me to find what I am looking for and so process is all important. In this respect I have been documenting my process. I used to do it before, but that was so that I could identify at what point I should have stopped – I’m now doing it for a completely different reason. I think that I would like to produce work which evidences the process of making.

Jonathan referred to the post in which I talked about an emodiment of process or memory. It was the post about my daughter’s quilt which she made which will now contain all of the memories of the summer. Looking around the room, I can remember what I was listening to on the radio whilst I decorated it. It’s as if the artefact which we make embodies the whole process of making it. Jonathan commented that it is almost like a spatial memory.

He asked me about the Turner posts and in particular in relation to my comment about not just turning up and doing what I wanted but trying to complete the task. I explained that I see it very much as I do a book club – I go to read books that I wouldn’t ordinarily choose to read myself. Although I am finding the art classes challenging in that I have found myself veering away from the figurative and so I am looking at what I can do within the task to make it work for me, but that’s becoming progressively more difficult.

We discussed the graphite on water experiments and how I could develop these. I said that I had been thinking about it, but it is literally just loose graphite on paper which makes it difficult to develop further as it is. Jonathan asked whether I had thought about taking work out of the digital format, reworking it and then putting it back into digital. I had been interested in the idea of re-processing [It’s All Part Of The Process] and that this all feeds into my sense that I am probably heading down a route of mixed media, which Jonathan agreed with. I had been thinking that the way to progress the graphite images is to photograph them and then work in layers on top. I think that the idea of layers is going to be important moving forward. Jonathan suggested that perhaps this is where linocutting could come in, not as a finished piece, but as part of a bigger mixed media piece. I had been thinking about how I might work in oil paint on top of a mono- print, so this is something further to think about.

Jonathan remarked that the idea of re-processing is essentially remediating. He wondered whether there was a link between a process which involves remediation and the remediating of memory and, in this respect, he had in mind transactive memory eg looking at a photo and recalling memories whilst others also recall memories which are slightly different – a social form of memory retrieval. [This sounds interesting and worth further thought.]

Jonathan referred to the Procreate images of the print and asked to what extent my thinking was influenced by the fact that it was going to be linocut. It was totally influenced by it – I imagined myself carving out the lines. What value was there in the form of the product being known? It was not ideal, but it was a challenging process and I felt a sense of achievement afterwards, although perhaps that was because it had been a struggle which arguably takes me backwards.

What comes next? I think that process has become important to me and is where I need to be. I used to think that I wanted my work to convey a message that would be understood; I now think that I’m shifting to the other camp in that I’m happy for me just to know what I meant. I can see myself focussing by gathering up all the loose ends of everything that I have been doing and finding a way forward. Will some of them be tied off? Yes, I can see that some might be, but then I changed my mind to ‘no’, as I never say never.