Self-accountability | Kate McCalmont-Woods

On the basis that I’ve ditched the individual topics areas, for the time being, I’ve not done too badly although I still haven’t made anything. That’s not such a problem because it’s been a hectic and emotional couple of weeks from both ends of the spectrum. I tend to chunk my life as a way to avoid feeling overwhelmed. If I have events coming up whether it be organising a birthday party, entertaining friends, jobs which I’ve been putting off, I can’t generally look beyond them. The future is looking relatively event free for the moment so I feel like I have some space to progress. I’m feeling optimistic. I started back at my oil painting class last week – I missed the last half-term because of the low res week.

I’ve been to Brasil! Brasil! at the RA – I managed to fit that in on the first Thursday of the Low Res, and I’ll cover it in a separate post.

I managed, finally, to attend Chris Koning’s online workshop on the perception of edges.

I’ve also been giving further thought to the research paper; I’m still thinking that I will do something associated with the fallibility of memory. I became interested in memory when my daughter was studying for her psychology A Level a few years ago, and I bought Julia Shaw’s The Memory Illusion, started reading it and never finished it. I’ve started reading it again.

I’ve found an artist, Al Hopwood, who explores themes of memory, identity and perception at the intersection of art, psychology and story-telling…to reflect on the construction of personal and collective narratives. Also, Perplexity has thrown up some other artists who explore the ways in which we remember, but I haven’t been able to research them any further for the moment.

Going forward…

I’m hoping to squeeze in Linder at the Hayward, Donald Rodney and Arthur Neal this weekend.

I’ve also been thinking about how else I can progress my work. I’ve been mulling over the unfillable hole issue and I keep coming back to the Alex Schady workshop and possibly making a video, or maybe painting a self-portrait and just slathering it with junk food, or just making a water feature for the garden! Who knows, but I’m sure there’s something there, I just need to think about it some more. The discussion on tacit agency with Paul Haywood also planted a seed as to how I might explore some of my childhood memories.

As ever, lots to think about…

Well, the starting pistol has gone off, and I’m still sat here, procrastinating, allowing myself to be distracted, doing anything other than what I should be concentrating on: producing something for the pop-up show. My problem with deadlines is that I tend to ignore them until the very last minute – goal driven, that’s me.

What, with thinking about the pop-up and trying to come up with an inspirational text for Tuesday’s session, I’m feeling just the tiniest bit sick. I would say that I have stuck my head in the sand but apparently that’s a popular misconception: when they sense danger and cannot run away, ostriches will flop to the ground and remain still, attempting to blend in with the terrain – that sounds just about right!

Anyway, following on from my ‘Less’ post, I’ve been thinking about working with a limited palette and how it narrows choice. Using a pen narrows choice even further – just black and white and nothing much else in between. Using a pen forces you to think about mark-making in order to create tonal values and areas of interest. So, I’ve been using my time constructively by doodling with a pen in my sketchbook whilst listening to an audio book – who says I can’t multi-task!

I found the process of mark-making to be meditative and grounding, totally different from the anticipation of putting ink onto wet paper and waiting to see what happens. Strangely, I like it. I think I am a person of extremes: I’m either fastidiously tidy or chaotically messy; organised or haphazard; focused in on the minutiae or just wanting to see the bigger picture. Somehow I have to find a path along which both sides of me are satisfied.

I will definitely use pen again, if only as a way to order my thoughts. Going forward I think I should try to build up a bank of possible marks, almost like a painter might have a bank of colour swatches. Having said that, I’m mindful that I’ve still got to do a few things to which I’ve committed in earlier posts, so I think I need to embark on some self-accountability first.