A Sense of Achievement

My daughter phoned me yesterday, after her final exam. That’s it, she’s done, she’s finished, university is over. Another chapter in her life is coming to an end as another is about to begin.

That’s not the only achievement. Whilst she was at home over the Easter holiday she drove a car for the first time since her head-on collision last May. She felt she was ready – she had been having dreams that she was driving and felt bereft when she woke up to discover that it wasn’t real. A far cry from the flashbacks she had been having. So, I went with her for a couple of drives, and then she asked me how I would feel if she went solo. I told her that I was ok with it if she felt comfortable, rather perplexed by the seriousness with which she had asked the question. Well, you were traumatised by the accident as well and I want to make sure that you feel comfortable with me going by myself.

I’ve been thinking about this conversation and wondering why I was surprised by it and why I’m not still carrying the fall out from the accident with me – what could have happened, and what did happen to my one and only. Maybe it’s because after it happened I was making – experimenting with drawing maps and hands – and writing about it on this blog. It makes me wonder how differently other things might have turned out had I been making art or had written about it at the time.

A Line Made By Running

I went out into the garden this morning. Of course I had noticed it before now, but I hadn’t acknowledged it. The path has gone, the grass has regrown and the trace of his physical existence is no longer there. It left me feeling sad. He would run from one end of the trees to the other barking at the cyclists who would greet him as they passed. The path embodied his physical presence.

Video – A Line Made By Running

The line in Richard Long’s A Line Made By Walking (1967), embodied his physical presence in the act of walking and questioned which part is the art, the walking, the line, or the photograph documenting it?

I then started thinking about how dogs see the world and about colour, about whether colour only exists because we perceive it and what the world would ‘look’ like if we didn’t. It took me to the classic question of whether a falling tree makes a sound if no-one is there to hear it. From a scientific perspective it does, because it still creates the sound waves. But what about a banana in a dark room? It still exists even though we can’t perceive it, but is it still yellow? My initial thought was no, because there are no light waves to be reflected or absorbed.

I think that I prefer the scientific view to Berkeley’s idea that ‘to exist is to be perceived‘ in which neither the tree nor the banana exist until we perceive them. But that led me to thinking about whether my work is art when only I perceive it or whether it needs to be perceived by others as being art. I think Merleau-Ponty would say that it is enough that I experience it as art because our perception is embodied in our experience of being in the world. It is art because I declare it to be, the perception of others enhances it and adds to its meaning.

Rightly or wrongly, some rambling thoughts when I’m supposed to be getting on with something else.

Witness

We talked about consumption of content during this week’s session. I admitted that the first thing I do in the morning is to pick up my phone. I use it as an alarm clock. It’s reliable unlike other alternatives I have tried. Also, I don’t leave my phone downstairs ever since I was told by a firefighter that it would be my only means of contacting the emergency services if a fire broke out and damaged the landline. That was when we lived in London and a mobile signal was something taken for granted. In deepest, darkest Hampshire it’s a luxury and dependent on WiFi, so we’d be completely stuffed if a fire takes out the power and the router goes down. So, really it’s born out of habit, and the knowledge that our means of escape would be to hop out of the spare bedroom window onto the flat roof and down onto the ground, hoping to get at least one bar if we stand 10 paces east of the base of the oak tree. Not that I’ve given it much thought…

I love a reel. I try not to spend too much time watching them. The last one I watched which interested me was a clip from Shall We Dance?

Maybe that’s why I make art. The process of art-making is important but it wouldn’t be enough in itself – it needs to see the light of day, to be seen, to be witnessed. To be witnessed by me as an act of self-reflection and by others, even if it is limited to those who are close to me.