On this blog. Once I have my website up and running I’ll continue to write and reflect on there.
It was our last session last Tuesday.
No-one seemed to be in a hurry to leave at the end. Pressing the ‘Leave Meeting’ button felt momentous.
Next the End of Year Show and then…
Well, having decided to fit the whole of the blog (so far) into two volumes, it became necessary to review the format. Having gone through all of the blog I thought that the final number of pages would be just under 600 which would mean 300 pages per book. This would mean increasing the number of signatures which could make things quite bulky at the spine and so I decided to reduce the number of sheets in each signature from 5 to 4. I had to reformat all of the text into 16 page booklets. It was a real pain as images and text began to move about all over the place.
Anyway, I finally managed to finish it and print out the first volume by the end of the Scotland match last night. As I was part way into the second volume I thought to myself that the posts I was printing out were really quite recent. Turns out that there are 500 not 600 pages and far from being 2 evenly sized volumes the first is going to be much bigger than the second.
I had to laugh at myself – I was thinking that everything was going a bit too well. So they are going to be odd books with quite a few errors in which I missed when I reformatted the text. One of the pages isn’t numbered either – that would have really irritated me two years ago and I would have printed it all out again to get it right. I just smiled to myself and thought that no-one is going to notice it and that if they do, then that’s really sad… for them! It’s my secret.
I woke up this morning with the thought in my head that I only have enough greyboard to make one book. I couldn’t get back to sleep until I had dealt with this problem, as I’ve really only got this weekend to finish the books. I’m not sure how this has happened – I’ve known since April that I’m making two books. I also realised at the end of last week that I’ve only got a little bit of archival glue left, so I had to order some more of that too.
Maybe I have some sort of anxiety about making the books – they’re the only pieces I’m making that I have an end product in mind – after the unsuccessful first attempt, maybe I’m delaying having to deal with them. Dilly dallying. Ironically, the experimental pieces are all ready to go off on Wednesday for the beginning of the show installation.
Maybe I don’t want the last two years to end…
I’ve made some real progress.
I’ve finished my layered piece. I ummed and ahhed for a while about whether I should paint the inside of the wood frames but decided against it – I like that you can see how I made it. The bottom layer is on MDF and each subsequent layer out of a wooden frame which I made onto which I then glued the image and secured with moulding pins. I then glued them all together using Gorilla wood glue. It’s not very heavy so it should hold, but just in case I have stapled the layers together on the top and bottom where the staples won’t be visible. I hesitated about the red thread – I wanted to use it emphasise the layers but in the last iteration I had the threads looping around each other. I decided to keep it simple this time. I like the end result.
I really like the cast shadows when it is photographed in the sun:
I decided that the shape on the blue canvas needed some oompf, and so I filled it with a blue glaze. I think it looks better. I managed to make a large sheet of paper lace – it took an age to dry with all the wet weather recently, but this weekend was a godsend. it dried less flexible than I was expecting but it’s workable. I decided to go with the simple shape in the end for the middle canvas to keep the sense of connection between the three of them. I overlayed the paper lace and am quite pleased with the result. My initial thought is that perhaps the central canvas now dominates a bit, but as I have taken to it representing me, I’m not that bothered, perhaps I’ve made it so subconsciously. I decided not to go with an umbilical cord – I’m liking the separation between the shapes – the drift – disconnection with the possibility of reconnection.
All together as a triptych:
I photographed the middle canvas in the sun – I love the shadows which are created:
I also overexposed it – something to think about for the future – it’s reminding me of colllage:
I made a short video showing the stages of making:
Now just to make a few adjustments to the videos I plan to show and also to finish making the books. To this end I’m not going to post again until they’re done – I’ve got to give myself a chance! I’ve decided to format the whole blog and then see if it is possible to incorporate it into 2 volumes by increasing the number of signatures in each one – at the moment there are 10 making up to 200 pages. I’m thinking that I could stretch it to 12…
I’d be lying if I said that I don’t get moments of anxiety about the End of Year Show and what I will be showing. After all, the plan is not to have a plan, as I’m treating it as a snapshot and the continuation of my becoming, as opposed to the big finale, the culmination of something. But it’s very difficult when all around me are so far advanced in their own work and I also need to give an idea of what I will be showing from a space planning and curation perspective.
At the very least I will have the book – it was ok to have that as a plan as it seems the most natural thing for me to do, it is something that can continue to develop because it is made up of volumes and also the process of making it has been one of learning and development. After my trial run I decided that I need to have some sense of progress and that I would crack on with the second volume before returning to remake the first. So, I’ve made the book cloth that will be used for the cover and the end papers. I’m currently halfway through formatting the blog – the resizing of all the images to a higher resolution suitable for printing and the creation of QR codes for the videos takes up a lot of time. Hopefully I will have finished it sometime this week and so can get on with making both volumes.
I’ve been thinking about my conversation with Jonathan as to how to display it. I want people to pick it up and have a read of it but at the same time treat it with care. Placing a pair of white gloves like those used by archivists next to the books would indicate that care should be taken – I don’t necessarily intend for people to actually use them and I’m sure that there will be some who would be reluctant to anyway. Hopefully, there will be three volumes, so the idea of two being arranged on a shelf and the third being placed on a separate surface, open and an invitation to be read is a good one, but it is also open to being seen as being on display, something to be looked at, not touched and read. So, I’ve gone with Jonathan’s idea of a student table chair/ conference chair as a possible option. I’ve sourced one – it has a fixed writing tablet so nothing has to be moved or flipped up for the reader to be able to sit down.
I’m also intrigued by Jonathan’s idea of using a video screen as a table and placing the book on that, as well as his comment about watching videos through layers. I had in the back of my mind that I would probably make a layered piece rather like the one in Layering. I tried experimenting with the burnt mulberry paper just to get a feel. I also used some mulberry paper that I had cyanotyped on and decided to burn holes in that to see how a patterned layer would work – a health and safety risk assessment beforehand probably would have alerted me to the risk that paper that had been chemically treated would probably burn quite enthusiastically – let’s just say that it was a bit quicker and harder to blow out than the plain paper. I put the paper on top of an acrylic sheet for the purposes of this exercise and so at times you can see my reflection.
I’m going to have a look at making some new videos and perhaps re-editing some of the existing ones, taking on board all the really helpful suggestions Jonathan made in my tutorial. I’ll keep playing around with layers and see where it takes me.
I also want to try working at a larger scale. I’m still thinking about microchimerism and the piece with the three foetal forms (The Accidental and the Incidental). I still can’t believe how randomly drawing a shape resulted in a form which I now see as having such a strong identity. I could use some of the processes that I have been experimenting with, such as bubbles and ink. I really enjoyed making the paper using the syringe ( Layers) – it feels organic and biological and maybe I could incorporate it in some way into a larger piece or even a layered piece. I can only make it in A2 but I think that I could easily attach sheets together to make a larger sheet. The only question is how I would transport it, but I think that once it’s dry it is quite flexible and more robust than it looks although it would probably be better to take in sheets and then join it together in situ using paper pulp which would have enough time to try over the install period. Failing that there’s always PVA glue.
I’m feeling positive and excited that I have a loose idea – some soft structure – let’s see where it takes me.
This week’s session centred on the Unit 3 assessment and the end of year show.
It was interesting listening to others talking about their planned pieces and how they could be displayed within the space. I can’t deny that I had a small flicker of panic that I don’t have a singular large finale piece in mind. But on the whole I felt quite calm and relaxed about it. Fingers crossed, I will hopefully have my book which is A5 in size. I would also like to show a larger piece but I think that is yet to come. For the time being, I’m feeling confident that something will emerge from my ongoing experimentation over the coming weeks. I just need to be mindful of elements that might be time dependent such as drying etc.
Josh then said it out loud. He acknowledged the end of the course. We then had a moment reflecting on how we feel about it. Eleana commented that she had asked herself whether she would want to repeat the experience (yes) and Rebecca mentioned that she is dealing with it by having plans and making work which go beyond its end date. Personally, I wouldn’t want to repeat it. There was a time when I wondered whether I could apply again, but on reflection I wouldn’t want to go back to the beginning – I have made so much progress. What I would like is for it to continue because I like the structure and I like the people, but that’s not possible, although we can always stay in touch with each other and use the structure and the way of working which we have developed within the course to carry us forward.
I feel that I now have the tools to continue to develop as an artist beyond the end of the course. The problem is time. My fear is that once the structure has gone I will slip into old ways, of allowing the everyday things and the needs of others to suck up my time. At the moment, others accept that I spend periods of time making because there is a reason – the course. But when it is gone I need to find a way to ensure that I keep that time for myself and that others respect it. I think carrying on the blog will be fundamental to this. One can’t really post about the making of work without making it. I also need to think about my future goals and how I might achieve them.
This time last year I was feeling like I had an awful lot to process as a result of the Low Res, and that I couldn’t really get on with very much until I had done so. This year I don’t have the luxury of time. The ‘end’ of the course is nigh. I really need to make the most of what time is left.
Thoughts inevitably turn to the end of year show. I’m still thinking that I will take Jonathan’s advice and keep on as I am, seeing where I am at when the time comes. I’m no longer fixating on a large final piece. I will probably show a few smaller pieces of work, depending on what I have to hand. However, I keep returning to the idea that my blog is a piece in itself. Jonathan and I have previously discussed making it into a book. From what I can see, there are websites that will do this for me but there is little editorial control, and I’m not sure that farming it out to a third party would make it a developmental experience. I think that I would like to make an artefact of sorts out of the blog, and I am thinking about making a book myself. How difficult can it be? Probably, deceptively so, but I’m going to give it a go anyway.
As with last year, I received my annual rejection from the RA during the Low Res. I think that’s the seventh year in a row. My instagram feed is littered with posts by successful applicants, and more recently by unsuccessful ones. They all prove how subjective art is. One caught my attention: how the applicant is trying not to take it personally, but how it is so difficult when she is her art.
I think that I am resolved that I am not my art – it is something that I have made; it is not me, at least not the present me. Even if it is, I came to terms a long time ago with the idea that I can’t please all of the people all of the time, and so it follows that not everyone will like the art that I make.
Kate McCalmont-Woods 