Way of Working | Kate McCalmont-Woods

This week’s session centred on the Unit 3 assessment and the end of year show.

It was interesting listening to others talking about their planned pieces and how they could be displayed within the space. I can’t deny that I had a small flicker of panic that I don’t have a singular large finale piece in mind. But on the whole I felt quite calm and relaxed about it. Fingers crossed, I will hopefully have my book which is A5 in size. I would also like to show a larger piece but I think that is yet to come. For the time being, I’m feeling confident that something will emerge from my ongoing experimentation over the coming weeks. I just need to be mindful of elements that might be time dependent such as drying etc.

Josh then said it out loud. He acknowledged the end of the course. We then had a moment reflecting on how we feel about it. Eleana commented that she had asked herself whether she would want to repeat the experience (yes) and Rebecca mentioned that she is dealing with it by having plans and making work which go beyond its end date. Personally, I wouldn’t want to repeat it. There was a time when I wondered whether I could apply again, but on reflection I wouldn’t want to go back to the beginning – I have made so much progress. What I would like is for it to continue because I like the structure and I like the people, but that’s not possible, although we can always stay in touch with each other and use the structure and the way of working which we have developed within the course to carry us forward.

I feel that I now have the tools to continue to develop as an artist beyond the end of the course. The problem is time. My fear is that once the structure has gone I will slip into old ways, of allowing the everyday things and the needs of others to suck up my time. At the moment, others accept that I spend periods of time making because there is a reason – the course. But when it is gone I need to find a way to ensure that I keep that time for myself and that others respect it. I think carrying on the blog will be fundamental to this. One can’t really post about the making of work without making it. I also need to think about my future goals and how I might achieve them.

What I was supposed to have done:

What I did:

Finished my work for the Interim Show
Attended the Interim Show and the Low Residency Week
Posted on the blog a few times

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I haven’t really done very much over the last 3 weeks since the Low Res. My inactivity has caused me some stress. But I have been thinking, and feeling a bit overwhelmed: processing everything I experienced and learnt from the week, cogitating as to how it could inform my work, thinking about where it all leaves me and where I go from here, trying to find a sense of direction, but to be honest I’ve been feeling more than a little lost. I think that was why I felt the way I did when I looked at the second year blogs; they all seemed to have such a clear sense of direction.

When I curated my blog for the Unit 1 Assessment and looked back at my Study Statement I had a sudden realisation that I might never get to the end, that I had bitten off more than I could chew, that I would only be able to cover all of the individual elements I had identified in a cursory, superficial manner which would not do the subject, or me, any justice. For this reason, my request for specific feedback was:

“I am concerned that the subject matter of my programme of study is too broad and, that by its very nature, is a process which will continue beyond the end of this course, something that I have already acknowledged in my Study Statement. I would like some feedback as to the consequences, if any, of there being no ‘conclusion’ as such, and whether I should consider narrowing my line of enquiry.”

I had hoped that maybe I would be gifted a steer, or a hint. But, the response was:

”You asked about whether you ought to be narrowing your approach but arguably you have to explore a double diamond shape for practice…

start at a narrow point

then expand wide

then narrow again

then open out again

— this good and a helpful place to be and probably clarity will emerge organically. You are certainly doing all the right things to create the environment where focus emerges.”

I felt like I was being told to step up to the edge and jump, and trust that there is probably a safety net waiting to catch me. A blind faith that the process will lead me through the confusion and show me the way.

But having thought about it some more over the last couple of weeks, I now realise that to progress forward I need to concentrate on those aspects which interest me the most, which I believe have affected me the most. In doing so, I will naturally leave to one side matters about which I don’t really have a lot to say. Already, in my mind, the possible avenues to explore have been significantly reduced to those which have been the strongest emotional experiences. In exploring these events, I still want to keep open a range of possible media, although I already sense that some appeal to me more than others, but I want to finish exploring the possibilities before concentrating on just a few: I tend to choose the medium which I think would best express what I’m trying to convey. Whilst I don’t like too much choice, I do like to have a few options. I don’t think that I could only ever work in one medium – I would find that too restrictive, particularly as I think that I have quite different needs to be met – a need for detail and control at the same time as a need for loose expression and experimentation.

I have also resolved to scrap my work plan in so far as I have sought to set myself on a prescriptive path; I will work on whatever interests me when I wake up in the morning. In my work plan I have also attempted to impose a way of working which really isn’t who I am. I’m trying to force myself into a pigeon-hole which isn’t my shape; to have some self-discipline, which frankly I don’t have. I work to deadlines, although just recently I haven’t left things to the last minute, which has been a huge change in me. I completed my Study Statement and Unit 1 Assessment leaving myself plenty of time to review and reflect. I also recognise that I don’t have a constant rhythm of working; I have periods of intense activity and then I reward myself with a period of doing nothing, although I am – I’m thinking and processing and doing other activities such as reading and looking at art, which are equally as valuable.

So, I’m not going to beat myself up that I haven’t produced anything over the last few weeks. Instead, I’m going into this week having recognised some truths about myself and intending to do whatever takes my fancy, if anything, although I do need to finish my posts on the Low Res. Maybe if I do make something I will feel differently about it because I have chosen to do it rather than feeling that I ought to have done it. I came across a reel of Steven Bartlett’s podcast with Chris van Tulleken, who was explaining a time when, at the end of a family dinner, he had decided to to clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher, but before he could do so, his wife turned to him and asked him to clear the dishes away. He commented that he had gone from having agency and contributing to family life willingly, to doing someone else’s bidding.